3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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