They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
