I'm really into asian looking animals
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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