considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
