She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
