her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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