Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
