then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
