I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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