Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
