he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
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Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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