I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
