Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
