theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
