so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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