You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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