You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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