I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
