there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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