tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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