you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
