i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need to sanitize my soul.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
