She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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