I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
