Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
