thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
