dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
