Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
