Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
