I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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