Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
