xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
