Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That accounts for only three of the penises
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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