I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
