Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize