belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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