An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize