No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
