i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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