How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
