i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
