dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
