I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
