Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
