I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
