There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
