i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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