The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
