youre lurking in front of me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize