I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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