I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
