Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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