just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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