I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
