No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
