If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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