lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
