Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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