i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
