i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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