i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
