oh god the rape fog is back!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
