Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
