i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
be right there i have to get my cape
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
