nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
send nudes
from the living room?
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