i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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