I puked a lego.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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