if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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