Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
