dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
