I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
