check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
