Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
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Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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